Thursday, 13 November 2014

Don't sweat the small stuffs

Life is full of challenges as well as rewards and satisfaction.

Facing the challenges will consume us - physically and mentally. Sometimes we thought that the consumption would be proportionate to the challenges - however I began to realise that sometimes smaller challenges consumes you equally as hard as the bigger ones. Sometimes more. And at a cost. 

Focusing on the small stuffs at home - my kids mess in their rooms, not doing their chores of washing dishes or throwing the rubbish etc coupled with on/off reactions from my only son and eldest of three children - put a wedge in my relationship with him. The more he ignored me, the harder I pushed him and it got to nearly a breaking point.

Fortunately for me, I have my wife, my minder, my advisor, my conscience and most importantly my rock for me to lean on and at the same time my pillow to soften my fall. She pulled me aside. I was sweating on the small stuffs at the cost of my relationship with my son, who is 13 now. The house felt like a morgue. Everyone were crying, my son, my daughters and my wife. And I. I cried.

I began to make changes in my approach. At the beginning, I ignored the mess, uncompleted chores etc for a few days until I am able to point out things that I need done without being angry or emotional about it. I sat down with my son and my 2 girls, apologising and promising to make changes, and at the same time I pointed out my expectations from them, especially my son being the eldest. I also begin to help him to ease his loads. And also began to join him in the game room - play games on PS3, and losing.

Soon after, the emotional bank account grew for both of us. The mess is still there - much less now but I gained a healthier relationship with my son, and this didn't go unnoticed by the sisters. And things are slowly improving with them too. Laughters began to fill the house again.

That was a real life lesson for me. Thanks to my rock, my darling wife.

Alhamdulillah. May Allah continue to shower blessings to my family. Azmi

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